One thing that definitely does not relate to simplicity is lying awake at night and running through things in your mind over and over. It’s after 3:30AM and I woke from a strange dream – I was living in impoverished conditions. My husband was gone and I was crying over a photo of an Irish claddagh ring (we both have one). I’d gotten word that someone I knew from long ago had died, and I was watching the large autumn-hued trees in front of our house sway violently with a coming storm. I felt melancholy and was fearing a tornado at the same time (which I inevitably dream when I am overwhelmed by something in life). Then three leprechauns forced in the front door to take my son with them (we don’t have a son) but I was left crying as they dragged him through the front door with tales of Irish shenanigans and drinking, which I knew in my heart were lies and that I would not see him again.
Fast forward to the dog scratching and chewing her foot under the bed and I’m awake, rubbing my eyes and thinking back over this crazy dream. What does it mean?
I am a firm believer that our dreams are a subconscious way of working things out in our minds as we rest and our bodies repair. Not in the way that folks look things up in “dream books” to find out that if you dream of your teeth falling out then “money is coming” or other silly notions that don’t make any sense or have any relevance to what’s happening in your real life and mind. No, I mean unpacking the elements of a dream specifically related to what’s happening in your own life. What things could represent, what is bothering you, why, and how to resolve it.
While very clearly there seems to be a fear, or threat, of things being taken away from me – I find it funny that I have been contemplating another deep purge of items in our home. However, truly, I don’t have a huge attachment to things, so I know that I am not worried about losing “stuff.” I know that I am not fearing losing my family for any reason, so that is out. So what am I losing? Or what have I lost that I am mourning in my life? Time. I have also been feeling overwhelm and chaos, as well, in my schedule, in our home (there are a lot of projects being worked on, decisions to be made, upcoming purchases of construction materials…)
I have been wrestling with my age. I have never cared before, but reached a landmark this year that suddenly has me thinking (totally uninvited) of mortality, and noticing changes, more aches and pains, the dryness of my skin, the battle of – do I keep coloring my hair? (I’m so tired of it and it seems like one more unneeded expense) – the fear of time slipping away… the more I think about this dream, the more I’m pretty sure this is it. Things are changing. We’re not getting any younger. My youth is being dragged away and I am in the Autumn of my life. Worry about the chaos – and will I ever overcome it in this lifetime? – as I watch those trees sway and fear the storm that’s coming.
Yes. This sounds a lot more like what’s going on in my psyche, and not really about tornadoes and leprechauns… so I lay here, and pray, before falling back to sleep. Giving over my worries, my weariness, and my aches and pains, to my Father in Heaven. And I feel better knowing that there’s a lot more left in this girl. Lots of plans, lots of dreams (real-life ones!) and so much more to explore and to offer in my life.
Glad I woke from this seemingly nonsensical dream so I could begin to discern how to use it to my advantage in my waking hours.
For now, back to my prayer time and (hopefully) back to sleep before the alarm goes off in one hour. Good night, and sweet dreams!